I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
