when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
