Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
