Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
