sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
