I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
