if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
