just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
