You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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