we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
