on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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