So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
