Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
