I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
