I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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