ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
