I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
