Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
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