Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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