mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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