Don't you send me to vm
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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