the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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