My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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