respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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