first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
