OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
