Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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