We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
