Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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