Old men and throwing up are my life now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
