u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Randomize
