I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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