Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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