return my video game
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
