Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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