I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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