we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
