I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
