Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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