i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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