my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
