you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
