there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Randomize
