We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I think im going to throw up on grandma
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
