Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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