Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
