why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
