god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
