remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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