I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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