hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
