i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
